Twitter! I Don’t Even Know Her!

I just signed up on Twitter and boy are my arms tired. Wait…that isn’t right. OK I did just sign up on Twitter and even tweeted once but so far, I’m not feeling it. What on earth is the draw here? Am I missing something? I even asked young Steph to help enlighten me, since she’s hip on social media and I now view her as the voice of a generation that’s a generation younger than I am, damn her. I also read several articles about how to use Twitter to my advantage, but still…nothing is really clicking.

Admittedly, I haven’t given it much time. I hated Facebook initially but now I am addicted. Twitter, however, just seems to be designed to flood other people with irrelevant information that they have to wade through in order to find the pearls. That’s time I could spend sleeping or poking Lisa on Facebook (or working.) I’m not alone in my dislike of Twitter, either, as it’s apparently cool to hate it. Well, I am nothing if not cool. Witness my recent purchase of black and orange Adidas and Yo La Tengo concert attendances. Ahem. Note that I am too cool to link to any of this, lest the crowd follow and I become even more passe.

Still, several people that I quite respect are indeed using Twitter. To me, this is an indication that I’m simply too stupid/old/misanthropic to figure out how to use it. I mean, Liana Evans twitters! There are few people in this industry that I have more respect for…and considering the inanities that I list in my Facebook status updates, it’s hard to imagine WHY I can’t warm up to Twitter. It seems perfectly suited for that honestly. Why is it that I feel ok telling my Facebook friends that I am afraid of marmite, yet I think doing this on Twitter would make me a lesser human being? Just ask anyone whom I converse with on IM…I will not hesitate to bore someone to death with the minutiae of my life. I mean seriously, I have conversations with people about what they’re going to have for dinner and how windy it is outside. I’m about to fall asleep just thinking about that.

Apparently one way of using Twitter professionally is to provide quick and constant updates to a group, such as your employees when you’re trying to get across town to a meeting where they’re all sitting down at the conference table, talking smack about you. I found a good Lifehack article that lists 5 Ways to Use Twitter for Good, but the only one listed that would be of any real interest to me is the one entitled “Micro-Attention-Sharing” which is actually quite nice, as it allows me to see which new blog posts my friends have written. Also, I would definitely describe my attention span as being of the “micro” variety.

So I’m now at 20% interest. That’s not a lot.

Then I found the article The Top 5 Ways Smart People Use Twitter. None of the methods suggested truly floated my boat, making me feel non-smart but I did find it interesting to note this quote: “It�s much easier for me to get ideas for story posts by looking at a microblogger�s Twitter feed than by trudging into my Bloglines account. Good-bye RSS feed reader!” I do spend a lot of time on my feed reader, as I have tons of feeds that I need to keep up with so I can know what Matt Cutts’ cat is up to AND, like most bloggers, I do occasionally encounter a dry spell when it comes to ideas about which to write. If you’ve read my last few posts, Facebook status updates, or IMs, you’ll agree that I could stand to get some damn new ideas. So theoretically, THIS could be a Twitter use for me, IF I could be arsed to figure out how exactly to do this. So now I’m at 40%.

THEN I found the article
Eight Ways Twitter is Useful Professionally
. I immediately laughed at the number one suggestion, which is to “Make existing professional relationships stronger and more intimate.” I can tell you right now, twittering about how I’m watching Dragonslayer and eating nachos on the couch isn’t going to do anything but get my ass fired. Number eight, though, is beautiful and represents all that I could ever hope for in any product: “Learn important news. I�m much less dependent on my newsreader now because I hear about cool stuff all day via Twitter. For example: I didn�t know that Starbucks was giving away free coffee today until I read it on Twitter.” I can assure you that if Twitter alerted me to some free coffee, I’d print this blog post out and physically eat it. First I’ll have to figure out how to get the alerts though, won’t I? Damn it. So I’ll go up 25% for the laughter from item one and the hope from item eight, bringing me up to a glowing 65% interest.

Well in writing this post, it does appear that I have actually found some credible uses for Twitter…still, if you’re using Twitter in any remotely professional manner, please let me know because I’m still mostly unconvinced that it can benefit me in any manner. Of course, I said the same thing about the giant television Jay bought but once I saw The Equalizer throw someone against the wall with his leather-gloved muscular arms (the old hottie!), I was singing its praises. Like James Bond and Romeo Void said, never say never!

The Equalizer

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12 Responses to “Twitter! I Don’t Even Know Her!”

  1. lol great post Julie, I totally agree with you. I just don’t get it. I even find it difficult to update my Facebook status, although I do have this urge to update it regularly. Like anyone is going to give a crap about my very original “Lisa is: stressed/drunk/happy/sad/excited” or sometimes all of the above.

    The funny thing about these kind of updates, whether its Twitter or Facebook status, I never write what I really think, maybe I’ve been in England to long (I’m too polite…ha! Likely). But in all seriousness when you have industry contacts or even clients on your friends list you can’t really say “Lisa is fuckin annoyed with her boyfriend and have steam coming out of her ears”, or can you?

    I mean, one of my “friends” on facebook currently have her status saying “Persons name is: sleeping” WTF? How the heck can you be sleeping and be on facebook at the same time. Is that some weird ass way of saying “don’t contact me I’m going to sleep?” I dunno…yet I keep on updating the feckin status thing…

    As for Twitter, it’s a reason why it’s called TWITter…see what I did there..(if you don’t know what a Twit is you need to come to London..)

  2. Jane says:

    I’m a Twitter-hater. I signed up for an account, ripped it a new one at SEOmoz and went back to my precious Facebook. However, you can now add your Twitter account to your Facebook account and turn your updates (no, I won’t refer to them with that “t” word) into your status updates.

    Being a complete Facebook dork, I have the FB toolbar installed on every computer I with which I come into contact. Thus, everyone’s Twitter updates pop up on my screen in the same way as do notifications that Lisa Ditlefsen has sent me a message and tagged me in sixteen questionable photographs.

    Needless to say, I find this to be undesirable. I love your status updates, Julie! Don’t add Twitter to Facebook!

    As for Twitter’s professional wares… I’d have to get past my immature, biased and relatively unfounded hatred of the service before I could benefit from those. And I’m just not ready to let go yet :)

  3. TheMadHat says:

    And I in turn loathe Freakbook and use twitter quite regularly (although not as much as some people).

    I (sometimes) get news faster than I would checking my feeds.

    However, my favorite thing is at conferences (it beats having to email everyone or send txt even if I had everyone’s phone number). People I would normally not be able to connect with I can b/c of twitter.

    Also when people come into town they usually say “I’m in X” and I can reply and possibly meet up for a beer and a little SEO chat. Mostly for the beer.

    Since I can use it via mobile much easier than I can use Freakbook, I’m on board with it. And I’ve spent some time in london…I don’t think I’d walk around telling people to ‘twit’ me :)

  4. Julie Joyce says:

    Someone hates Facebook??? What are you, some kind of left-wing radical Commie? OK that’s totally a joke, in case anyone is thinking of sending me any (MORE) hate mail. I love a lefty. Anyway, the group potential that a few people have mentioned is the biggest selling point for me, and since I don’t like more than 4 people, this won’t help me out at all.

    OK seriously, Twitter would have been much less expensive than the 500 texts that I sent to all the Brits when we were in Vegas, stupidly thinking that they were included in my “unlimited” text package. So I do definitely see the potential.

    However, like Jane, I am going into this with a bias. The only time I’ve been turned around was in a guacamole incident in which I accidentally ingested some and realized that hey, this stuff freaking rules!!!

    See how meaningless my Twitteing would be, with inane comments like this?

  5. Julie Joyce says:

    And why haven’t any women agreed with me on the Edward Woodward thing? I mean come on, the man’s dressed to kill!

  6. Jane says:

    Oh, good. You managed to bring up the Brit-texting. The bad thing is, I knew it was going to be expensive and I did it anyway.

  7. ha ha Freakbook =)

    Another name for facebook should be Stalkbook. I dated this guy earlier this year and it got completely out of hand when he messaged me every time I added a bloke to my friends or someone wrote on my wall. I got in the biggest trouble when I added Matt Innman (previously SEOmoz) as I wrote on Jane’s or Rebecca’s wall saying I couldn’t find him, so they wrote back saying he was under bla bla whatever it was. My boyfriend went mental, “who is this guy you are trying so hard to find”. “COME ON dude, chill the fuck out”, obviously I didn’t say that Matt is totally hot (and single) lol…Anyway quickly woke up and smelled the coffe, he was just another freak on Stalkbook ;)

  8. Chris Hambly says:

    I love twitter, it affords me a method of communication directness not available anywhere apart from sharing a beer with someone, which is damn hard to do all the time.

    I also use twitter to update my Facebook status.

    I’ve gleaned so much useful info on twitter and cannot commend that form of micro-macro-blogging enough..

    Now, come and add me Julie.

  9. Julie Joyce says:

    Mr. Hambly…your wish is my command. I expect great tweets from you sir.

  10. Stephanie says:

    I still have a love/hate relationship with Twitter. I love reading everyone’s Twitter, but like anything else I am still watching my community before I dive into the deep end.

    Follow me @Frozen2Late


    One thing I REALLY can’t stand is when people connect their Facebook with their Twitter. I know it is the same thing but for some reason it just bothers me.

  11. May I be so bold as to express a very Twitter-uneducated opinion… It looks like yet another noise/clutter tool for your day… as if there aren’t enough other things in the day to do or disturb us.

    I have to be honest Facebook is in that folder for me too…

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