I have same problem with seo. I can’t find time to do seo for some my websites while working for clients.

I know how you feel about this. I received a request in LinkedIn.com from some one claiming that they can get a company top results in search engines, build a pleasing website, and other garbage that anyone with 1/2 a brain can talk about. Their site, albeit pathetic, showed lovely websites designed and developed for a few companies. The sites were “optimized” and yes, they did have top rankings .. FOR SEARCH TERMS THAT NO ONE SEARCHES ON.

Since I’m a savvy SEO, I copied some random text, put it in quotation marks, and lo and behold, there are about 263 results with the exact same content (currently). I cannot tell you how much this irks me, and so, with as much niceness that I could muster up, this was my reply back to her request to be a part of my network:

“I would connect with you, but I prefer to connect with people that are legitimately in the SEO world and that don’t have scheming web sites bolstering inflated claims for number 1 results in Google for terms that no one searches on.

Good luck with your endeavors.”

Rock on THE SEO Chicks, and drop rocks on schemers and scammers.

First of all I my real name is Chuckie but I done dropped the ‘e’ cause of that stupid doll movie. Maybe you should drop the ‘e’ on your names before they make a movie about you.

I ain’t livin with my Ma and Pa and working out of the basement since I live with my granny and have a office in the garage so there and I ain’t no mother. I don’t know how you knew about the lesbian porn thing but you better not be hashing my computer. And I got me a sixth grade educashion so there!

First of all people search things for large fish almost 50,000 of times a month (that’s what a search engine called google tells me, ever done heard of that?)

Next I only said you had a nice site so you would feel better about yourself. You must have one of them infeareor complexes I heard about. That’s why your taking your flustrations out on me instead of spending time fixin up your site.

Next thing after that, if you don’t see how much money you could make outta words like large fish and such then you ain’t got no cents at all.

And one more thing, why you sitting around with only your socks on? Probably watching lesbian porn.

I wrote about something somewhat similar on SEOmoz a while ago (and can’t link to it due to previously mentioned BlackBerry usage). I simply can’t believe the amount of emails my dad’s blog receives along these lines. He could have been taken for a ride over and over by these people… the main saving grace is that they’re too dumb to be taken seriously. Their emails are about as sensible as Chuck’s.

The sad thing is that people lik Dad stop believing every email they get. He’s had legitimate emails from people who really do have something to offer and he usually believes them to be frauds. It makes actually doing business online even harder when you’re constantly trying to prove that you’re not a scam artist, or if you’re constantly trying to figure out who’s full of shit and who’s worth your while.

I love this: “Your site – has similar characteristics to some of our most successful publishers (for example, we are seeing that it has several pages indexed in Google)…”

and can only hope and pray that it wasn’t written by one of my link builders.

That brings up a great point too…where are the people in charge? Are they also this stupid? Or are they just not paying attention?

I get some choice spam at the agency where I work too. My favourite to date is:

‘Our internet marketing solutions are filtered through the minds of experts… We can feel the pulse of your business… We are professionals with laurels’

Hmmm – nil point.

It’s got a nice ring to it

As we were so peed off we published the funniest quotes from emails we received over (I think) a two day period on our own blog my favourite of which was:

“Your site – has similar characteristics to some of our most successful publishers (for example, we are seeing that it has several pages indexed in Google)…”

As you can imagine I was really happy that ’several’ pages were being indexed.

Don’t get me started on the amount calls we receive asking that we either ‘team up’ or outsource to India )…That’s a whole other blog post.