LondonSEO pissups are things everyone in the SEO community has come to look forward to. Not only are they a chance to see people you likely haven’t seen since the last conference you went to, it’s also a chance to indulge in free drink and help friends.

For the last while, LondonSEO has also been the home to Sweedish Druid Chocolate – a yummy concoction of chocolaty goodness lightly dusted with cocoa powder. They are quite yummy and favoured by many… but not all.

Regular readers know of my love of FINE CHOCOLATE (not an affiliate link but a gift registry-it’s a silly link) but I do not scorn those of lesser status. Indeed I embrace the Cadbury’s and Masterfoods chocolates of the supermarket shelves. I gleefully indulge in whole nut chocolate and malteesers while dreaming of peanut M&M’s. Chocolate is a consuming passion for me

So, armed with boxes of “Heros” and “Celebrations”, I strong-armed my new work colleagues (nat vis as they are called here at i-level) and we ventured forth to the Ship Inn. This fun pub was hidden down an alley and yet was full with regulars and SEOs alike.

Immediately greeted with fellow SEO Chicks also proudly wearing the green SEO Chicks t-shirt I ventured up to the SEO bar to procure some wine to go with my chocolate. Having eaten only a small bag of nuts for lunch, the wine went straight to my head and foolishly I tried to joke with my fellow SEOs offering “chocolate for links”. Apparently at least one took me seriously. Come on people! When have *I* ever asked for a link? Please. Last time I drink before eating though.

The chocolates went well, finding an even wider audience than usual. It seems that I’ve found the “new hope” for chocbait… Heros and Celebrations! So onwards and perhaps after ad:tech there will be another LondonSEO event!

Much like Star Trek, every other chocbait is awful.  The first was a trial run.  The second received a much warmer welcome and all chocolate was consumed.  The third attempt, much like “The Search for Spock” was a pretty miserable failure.  I ended up with tons of leftover chocolate and really didn’t have high hopes for ChocBait 4.  It was time for ChocBait IV - “A New Hope” (Yes, I know… Star Wars, not Star Trek).

Perhaps beer and chocolate mix better in the UK.  Perhaps people in the UK realise that chocolate is actually nice – not the brown confection so popular in the US.  Indeed Canadian origin chocolate bars are so much better than their US counterparts (and let me tell you – Oreo with double stuff from Canada bats the US version out of the park) that sites like Canadian Favourites  offer to ship them to ex-pat Canadians.  Given the quality of native chocolate, I should have predicted a failure.

Optimistic as ever though, I started the chocbait at SES London early.  In the press/speakers room, I offered around the first tray and some chocolate cornflake bites (the crackcocaine of the chocolate world.  DO NOT ATTEMPT TO EAT THESE or you’ll soon find half the bucket eaten without any memory of how or why – you’ll just know you want more).  These went down well and I was feeling a little more optimistic for the next round of chocbait.

Chocolate truffles and cornflake bites from Paddington M&S in bag, I ventured bravely in to the London SEO Pissup event.  Everyone was excited about the chocolate and some were actively seeking me out.  Having distributed the initial tray quickly (2 in a box so second of the first box) and with chocolate lovers in tow, I went for the next box.  MELTED!  All hushed around me as an anguished deCabbit cried GAH! – the echo of which resounded across the galaxy.  Yes, that disturbance in the force that sounded like a million souls all crying out at once was the group of us sad the chocolate was melted (yes… I know… Star Wars again, not Star Trek).

Venturing out with my intrepid guide Simon Heseltine from Search Engine Tigers he steered me to the local M&S which was completely sold out of chocolate truffles and chocolate cornflake bites.  MASSIVE FAIL.  Dalek egg which said “exterminate” and cornflake nests in bag, I returned to redistribute the chocolate left.

Obviously, following the Star Trek theme, the next two chocbait attempts will be overblown, expensive failures but which will pave the way for ChocBait – The Next Generation (perhaps featuring Hotel Chocolat  or wonderful truffles from Chocolate Society - my favourite chocolate)

Chocolate will always be my passion as I loved it long before AltaVista and Babelfish and I’ll love it long after Google and VC++ are but dusty memories.  For the person who asked at the last event, use the chocolate society link and my birthday is March 25th though I will not say how old I am

The Chocolate Experience travelled to SMX London this time. Once again, your intrepid SEO Chick waded through the thronging hordes of SMX revellers (plus some who could not make it) at the pub and attempted to ply her trade in nothing but a tight SEO Chicks t-shirt.

Apparently simply shouting about the availability of her precious chocolate was another ill-conceived attempt at a method of dispersal and so she sat back to enjoy the chocolates on her own.  Saddened by the dead silence at her offer, she drowned her sorrows in a glass of fine wine bought for her by someone who was also talking hotel rooms in Vegas (dodgy as that sounds, it wasn’t ;) ).

Whilst enjoying chocolate and a nice red wine which seemed to actually compliment the chocolate, others began joining her in the enjoyment of the chocolate.  Soon a second chocolate tray was opened and much fun was had.  A third and fourth tray soon got polished off and a combination of personal dispersal with casual ‘on the table’ distribution seemed the best.

Will ChocBait make it to Vegas?  Who knows…?  Permission has been sought, chocolates identified (M&S truffles), thoughts on numbers to bring started mulling (50 boxes/100 trays? 200 trays?) and ideas are fermenting.  Chocbait 2.0 was more of a success but still lacks the popularity of the original – the inspiration – the best bait yet – drinkbait.

Stay tuned – The Chocolate Experience may be coming to a conference near you….

Chocolate makes me happy. It says so on my Moo cards and so I thought after seeing how much fun Chris Hooley seemed to have with drinkbait that I would shamelessly rip off errr… borrow that template and try and meet people by giving away chocolate.

Drinkbait was a fantastic idea specifically drawn up by Chris to achieve a particular end. He bought “nips” (which I only know another connotation for so am clueless about what this has to do with drink) and went off getting pictured with various SEOs. I wasn’t drunk when I looked at the images and I thought were great but now (also sober) I can’t find them. “Drinkbait” was followed up by someone with “hatbait” and now me with “chocbait”. I’m looking to meet people and get to know them – the love I want isn’t just from links… It’s in the hearts and minds of chocolate fans everywhere. Link building has never been more fun (or yummy).

Now, chocolate to a chocoholic like myself is a sacred thing. No cheap chocolate for me, I was going for French style chocolates which come in cute boxes and are about the price of a bottle of booze. As this is international travel we are talking about here, and chocolate had to travel with me, I needed to test the idea out and so the Ad:tech chocbait test was launched. Armed with high quality truffles, I went to the SEO chicks drinks thing after Ad:tech and sprung my trap. On an unsuspecting table of SEO people, I offered high quality cocoa dusted truffles.

No one liked my chocolate but other SEO chicks. Yep – you read it right… Chocobait was a miserable failure. How, in my wildest nightmares could I have possibly envisioned an era when chocolate would be REFUSED?!?! Yes – chocbait was not accepted when offered.

I was devastated. Returning home from Ad:tech with an untouched box of truffles in my cookie bag (hey – chocolate in all it’s many forms makes me happy – including chocolate chip cookies), I slumped on the couch and told husband I was going to rank well for chocbait and miserable failure because that’s what it was. He tried to console me with hot chocolate made from flakes of real chocolate in milk but I was inconsolable. The hot chocolate was good though

I’m a firm advocate of marketing techniques to test things out. For chocbait, this means an A:B test. Chocbait will happen again in a different way at a different venue in order to test alternates. Current chocbait, as it is in the testing phase, does not include “branded” link requests nor does it attempt to inspire linking (though friendship is encouraged). Final version chocbait, if it does indeed make it past the testing phase to PubCon, will involve photos, branded notes attached to the chocolate and lots of fun (I hope).

I’d love to hear some ideas about how to improve chocbait or ideas you might have about how chocbait can successfully leave beta and emerge at PubCon in final release version.