What Is ‘Mobile’?

Mobile traffic, mobile websites, mobile apps. These and similar phrases are increasingly being discussed in SEO circles, but sometimes (and I am as guilty of this as anyone) we forget to define what we actually mean by the term ‘mobile’.

The Official Definition

The Mobile Marketing Association recently defined ‘mobile marketing’ as “a set of practices that enables organizations to communicate and engage with their audience in an interactive and relevant manner through and with any mobile device or network.” [emphasis mine]

But to the average person (at least here in the UK), ‘mobile’ is a synonym for ‘cell phone’. No one says, ‘let me look it up on my mobile’ and then takes out an iPad. Tablets, smartphones and feature phones are all very different devices, and encourage different behaviours, and therefore require different marketing approaches.

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Could A Chimp Still Do SEO? A Followup

In 2007 I was much more obnoxious (and had more free time) and I wrote a post about whether chimps could take over our jobs.

I’m still sure that they could definitely perform certain functions in this industry, besides being DAMNED cute even if they are fairly deadly, but what about some of the new roles that have come about or gotten more important in the past 5 1/2 years? Could a chimp do those too?

Damn right she could.

DentalChimp

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Content Marketing

Create sites that are great and useful, totally relevant, and constantly updated with new and brilliant content that people love, socialize, and editorially link to? Um, no, but can you do that either? Enough said.

AMAs

The beauty of chimps, as well as any other animal, is that you truly can ask them anything. They may not answer but you don’t have to get all cranky about it. In fact, some of their answers may be much less evasive than those of other popular SEO figures. Chimps may actually know what they’re talking about, too. Chimps can type (better than some of you, you lazy sods) and use sign language so I imagine a chimp AMA would be enlightening, entertaining, and you’d come out of the whole experience a better SEO. Just don’t ask them anything stupid like “how does a monkey get an Adwords account?” because remember, a chimp is not a freaking monkey. Are you a monkey? NO. Neither is a chimpanzee.

ask me anything

 

 

ASK.

ME.

ANYTHING.

 

Answering Questions On Quora

First of all I would like to say that in doing some research for this piece (because it’s so scientific) I came across the best chimp question ever outside of “Can a chimp impregnate a human?” which was “Would a chimpanzee enjoy going on a roller coaster?” My god, the imagery!! The answer is obviously yes, by the way. The difference in an AMA and Quora is that questions on Quora are much funnier and the answers given by people who are total idiots are really fun to read. A chimp could totally give a senseless answer that would make you wonder if you were actually the moron. You know those people who say things like “well it depends on 200 factors, none of which I can really talk about because I could get into trouble with Matt Cutts but I do have it on good authority that those 200 factors are subject to change but again, I can’t say any more. I’ve said too much already.”?? Well, a chimp could absolutely outclass those losers. A chimp could answer much more definitively and could back it up because who’s going to mess with one of those big hairy bastards?? They’ll rip your arms and genitals off, and don’t you ever forget it. You’ll read their answers and you’ll damn well like them, then follow them on Quora because they’re experts. And you don’t want to lose your arms and genitals.

Ranting Online

I think that a chimp would excel in this area because they are very good at waving their arms around, loudly chattering, and looking like brats. They also seem to be photographed in diapers or toddler attire on a regular basis, again fitting the profile of some online fussy pants. An online rant isn’t too different. You think a chimp’s post is crap or adds no value to the topic? Go ahead and tell her that and stand back. Hell hath no fury like a chimp, um, told that her post is crap or adds no value to the topic. Chimps are known to occasionally turn on people that they love, so imagine if they don’t like you and you talk some trash. You’re dead meat. They’ll get in your car after maiming you and probably get into a bit of a fender bender which YOU will end up paying for of course because I bet you didn’t think to add them to your insurance policy did you? Fools.

Negative SEO

Any animal known to regularly fling poo is an animal that could be brilliant at negative SEO. Research has just shown that female chimps can get really nasty in female-on-female interactions  (I swear to God that is not a dirty story) so imagine what they could do if a competing site, run by a female of course, continues to beat them no matter how many networked links they buy or how much content they spin. They will take it DOWN. They could bang out fake negative reviews on their internet-connected typewriters (since they like typewriters, being all old school) and diss you on Twitter. If their avatar is seductive, chances are they’ll have many male SEOs in the industry backing them up, too.

pissed off chimp with gun

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Credit goes to ebaumsworld.com for this wonderful image.

Link Cleanup

Chimps are brilliant at making a mess but can they clean one up? No, but how successful are your damn link cleanup jobs??? Have you just restored your site to its former pre-Penguin glory? Have you done fewer than 18 reconsideration requests? Ok then. You can hush.

Building Tools

Chimps are great users of tools, and can make weapons out of lots of things and not just their own poo. That horrible chimp Travis (who names a chimp Travis?) was known to drink wine from a stemmed glass, something I still haven’t mastered. (Note: I am not making fun of anyone Travis hurt. Only Travis himself.) They can also ride on segways which some of our local police can’t handle without running someone over. Any chimp who can do that can build a tool to knock someone’s teeth out or tell you what your percentage of brand anchors is.

Community Management

Chimps ARE fiercely protective, so this would be a natural fit, plus they’re terrifying when they’re angry, like some of you. If they could figure out how to be online most of the time and set up brand alerts, I’m pretty sure a chimp could kick ass at this job. You talk junk about a chimp’s online member community, you’ll probably end up having your genitals ripped off.

I’m sure there are many others tasks and jobs that are suited to the chimp mindset and lifestyle (open air offices will always be a plus and they may smoke less than some of your coworkers…maybe) so will we be in danger of being replaced? Who will be the first to hire a chimp intern and try it out? Is that tax deductible? Could using chimps for SEO become the new thing, and if it can and does, will we need to rebrand the term used for it in a few years, causing tons of SEOs to have to change their titles? How can we get on top of this potential new chimp movement and future-proof our link building strategy so that we don’t get kicked out of Google???? Will “use of chimps” be added to the Webmaster Guidelines violations???

I’m going to have to take a Xanax now.

How to get the most from your data

Web analytics is a topic that gets mixed reactions, much like SEO really. Some people think it’s a myth, others are intimidated by the data, some know it is important but are limited to the basics and others can’t get enough (that’s me!). As an analytics specialist I find that my role includes the bits you would expect – implementing tracking code solutions and analysing data – but it also requires offering assistance in making the most of the data, from changing clients’ attitudes to encourage them to use their analytics more, to showing how the data can be used much more effectively.

The big thing behind this is that analytics isn’t about numbers.

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Musings on the Bottom Half of the Internet

“Never read the bottom half of the internet, that’s where the bad things live.”

It’s mantra repeated by many.

I’m referring of course to the comments, which as ‘bottom half’ indicates are situated a long old scroll down the page at the bottom of a post or article.

bad-things

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“Who Wears a Tiara on a Jungle Gym?”: Why I’m Excited About Leaning In

“Taking initiative pays off. It is hard to visualize someone as a leader if she is always waiting to be told what to do.” – Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women and the Will to Lead

When I saw the first promotional article about an upcoming book on women and work from the COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, I was very excited. I pre-ordered a Kindle edition. And as I waited for the launch date of Lean In: Women and the Will to Lead, I saw lots more articles, many of them vehemently stating that, one way or another, Sheryl Sandberg had got it wrong.

Eventually my own copy arrived, and as I read it I was pleasantly surprised. I found it deeply resonant on a personal level with my own experiences and recent self-development goals – largely in regard to issues surrounding confidence. The book is basically a 240-page pep talk on having the confidence to negotiate, to put oneself forward for promotions, to take on bigger responsibilities, even if they are outside of one’s comfort zone, to ask for help…and also for women to aspire to the top levels of their respective industries. Even better, it’s a pep talk which is bolstered by pages and pages of statistics and data, and notes about the studies from which the data came (on my Kindle, the final 40% of the book was taken up with references). And surprisingly, despite the often depressing statistics, the end result was inspiring and uplifting. When I finished reading it, I wanted to tell everyone I knew, male and female, that they should read it too.

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Welcome to the SEO Chicks; Bridget Randolph

I would like to welcome Bridget Randolph to the SEO Chicks blogging team. Bridget is originally from a small town in Virginia (US) but went to the UK to study (at Oxford none the less, clever cookie). Once she graduated she didn’t want to leave so she pursued a job in the UK, she is now working as a SEO analyst at Distilled UK and loves it.

BridgetRandolph

I first met Bridget a few months ago and realised what a smart chick she is, so when she asked if she could do a guest post on SEO Chicks about the much debated book “Lean in”, I said “heck yeah”. Once I read the blogpost I realised she is right up the SEO Chicks street and should be a regular blogger. We offered her a place on the team, she accepted, and TADA here she is. Don’t miss her first post with the review of the book Lean-In by Sheryl Sandberg. Also make sure you follow Bridget on Twitter.

Bridget, welcome to the SEO Chicks blogging crew! May the force be with you!