Ever wanted to get rid of pesky competitors without having to get your hands dirty trying to figure out if they are or are not doing anything that violates Google’s guidelines? Now you can!! Why bother actually reporting them? That takes time, and you could be wrong. Don’t take that risk.
Eliminate the competition using the following three safe methods:
1. The Friendly Email
See a site ahead of you in the rankings? Well get a contact email and send something like the following…
“Hi Bob.
Just wanted to reach out and give you a friendly reminder to make sure that you know EXACTLY what your SEO company is doing. I’ve been reading a lot about how underhanded some of them are, so just ask yours a few questions and make sure that they’re being totally upfront with you. I know a guy who just got his site banned and he had no clue that his SEO was doing some shady stuff.
Have a great day!
Jim”
Key takeaways:
This tends to work best with webmasters who:
2. The Gentle Threat
If you’re exhausted from sending the Friendly Email and nothing’s happening, move on to the Gentle Threat. Just remember to be gentle. There’s no need for tacky behavior here.
The Gentle Threat works something like this…and feel free to alter the tone if you think you need to be a bit nastier. Some of these assholes don’t listen.
“Hi Bob.
It’s Jim again. I really hate to be the one to scare you but a lot of guys in our industry are getting really upset about people using spammy SEO techniques to rank well. I don’t want you to get caught up in this, so you may want to watch out. I wouldn’t bother asking your SEO what he’s doing though. He’ll just make something up and keep taking your money. Just be careful, and watch your back. Even if you aren’t doing anything unethical, getting turned into Google won’t be pretty. I know a guy who had that happen and it took him 2 years to get his site back in.
Best of luck!
Jim”
Key takeaways:
This tends to work best with webmasters who:
3. The Link To Reporting A Site
If nothing else works, this will. Just send the webmaster an email linking to https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/paidlinks. There’s no need to bother with trying to report any of the other violations since this one will work. Everyone worries about their links you know.
Key takeaways:
This tends to work best with webmasters who:
I do hope this is satire.
Not at all. I also think Ireland’s hunger issues can be solved if they would eat their own children.
OF COURSE IT’S SATIRE.
Oh the irony of your not recognising the satire in my comments
God I know!!! It’s almost too much to bear.
OK on a serious note (finally) I do want to say that I realize, sadly, that there will actually be people who read this and think I’m truly advocating doing something this fucking asinine. For any of you who read it and think that, god help you.
the cat in the pic is awesome… looks like it’s about to “pop a cap in yo’ ass” or at very least battle cat
Are you sure you’re not English? You are too brilliant. Had me laughing all the way through.
Unfortunately, there’s plenty of companies for whom gaining work through this sort of FUD is their entire business model. Surprising how much business can be gained by boasting about how you *don’t* do something. No need to explain what you would be doing instead, of course.
Why is there a picture of @robwatts on there?
It would be fantastic if they did take it seriously.
What sort of response would you give an email like one of the above?
hmm
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your email. Now F*^£ off and get a real job.
Have a great day!
B
LOL
The cat was so awesome that I could have just posted it, with no actual…post.
And Matt, I totally agree that some people do this…in fact, this is based on my recently losing a client through tactics such as this.
I might be English…I wonder if I can get some sort of funding if I can prove that I am? I’ll give it a go! It’s the American way.
[...] linkbait are natural, organic and extremely hard for competitors to replicate. And as pointed SEO Chicks pointed out this week, there are ways to nobble paid links. Although how many people actually do [...]
Funny stuff thanks. Seo Chicks rock! I’ll keep reading.