Women's Knickers! It's More Pink Technology

Warning: the following post has almost nothing at all to do with SEO. It’s simply a rant.

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A good friend of mine just showed me what I think is one of THE most ridiculous things I have ever seen. Besides Scarlett Johannson singing with the Jesus and Mary Chain even!

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It’s a flash drive designed exclusively for women! And strangely, they’re not available in America.

What makes them designed for women anyway? Other than being pink, the product has a “sleek, feminine, cap-less design” which will, apparently, “make it ideal for women of all ages.” It’s a f&^(G! flash drive! What does your sex or age have to do with it? I assume that it also allows you to keep up with your menstrual cycle and fend off would-be attackers in dark parking lots. If it came with a rape whistle, MAYBE I could see its benefit but as it stands, this is truly ridiculous and it brings me to a point (amazing!) about products that are designed for women.

The “designed for women” market has really gotten out of hand lately. This flash drive idiocy is only the latest in a string of items ranging from products that are simply smaller versions of their bulky male counterparts to products that are pink, and thus will appeal to all of us for their simple color. Everyone knows that all women love shiny pink things. OK that sounds really vulgar…you know what I mean you big bunch of sickos. Yes, some women are small and could probably benefit from a product that’s designed more for their size than for someone who’s a giant hill person, but I’ve also known quite a few ham-handed brutish females (yes, I mean brutish, not British) who would beat the tar out of many men on their way TO a fistfight. It’s simply another way to make money, so why does it make me so angry? We’re all in this to promote something. So why do I care?

I care because it’s setting a horrible precedent. Especially with regards to technology, the idea that you need to pink up a product simply so women will understand it and relate to it is about as offensive as Britney Spears covering a Ramones song. Obviously, if there weren’t women-only flash drives we’d most likely have one like this:

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The problem is that there are many women who will buy into this nonsense, thus creating the demand for more and more of it. Then what will we have? Will someone design a search engine that will work with women’s needs, or a woman-only browser that’s all pink and lacy? What about an analytics program designed for our tiny minds that are usually full of kittens and flowers? Why is it set in stone that all women like pink anyway? I do happen to love pink, but I sure as hell do not want a pink flash drive. Or a pink phone, or a pink iPod…I’d rather have all those in orange.

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Obviously there are products that should be designed for women (such as my mom’s Smith and Wesson Lady Smith revolver, for example, so don’t anyone visit her to complain about her daughter please) for various reasons. Knee cap replacements, amazingly, also seem to be a big area for women-only design. I don’t have a problem with these. Well, the gun thing freaks me the hell out but still, I’d rather see Mom coming down the stairs with a weapon that fits nicely in her small hand than holding a giant shotgun that she can’t control. My point is simply that there are legitimate instances where designing for women makes sense. The flash drive, however, is not a case like this.

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