Last week, I told it that I liked Amy Winehouse and to play me similar artists. It played me Fergie. To make it worse (possible!), it played me “Fergalicious.” Now, I have to think that Amy Winehouse would come out of a crack-induced coma to object to that. I sure would have.

Anyway, besides the stuff I’ve bought for myself, there are presents for the wife, the step kids, the parents, grandma, friends and so on. As you might imagine, purchases for such a diverse group of people creates a list of suggestions all over the map… and is therefore utterly useless. Sure, Amazon offers you a way to mark suggestions as “yes, this is fine” or “no, this is not”, but who the hell is going to go to that much trouble?

Then the “overnight” shipping of the replacement took seven days. By overnight, they meant that it’d get to Seattle overnight from when they put it on the plane. But they’d wait a week to do that.

Answer: Fifty days. 5-0.
“How many days do you have left on the warranty?” the Dell rep says.
“Three-hundred and fifteen,” I says.
“Thirty-five?” she says.
“No, three-hundred and fifteen,” I says. I says it until she bloody believes it. Gawd.

I laughed and laughed the other night whilst watching Resident Evil: Extinction (which was magnificent, by the way. Mila Jovovich + zombies = win). All these incredible feats of technology were being carried out by Sony Vaios. Nothing else in the giant underground building had any brand name whatsoever. The marketing meeting went like this:

“Our logo is all high-tech and stuff. RE’s underground building is all high-tech and stuff. If we pony up for some sweet product placement, bazillions of movie watchers will think our crappy laptops are all high-tech and stuff.”

I refuse the believe that the two nasty computers I’ve owned that have displayed that name would be capable of taking over the zombie-infested world. They’d be Macs or Lenovos and everyone knows it.